Gears in skirts

No game has disappointed me more than Ryse (pronounced Rise, not Rice) this e3, on paper the game sounds fucking awesome, who wouldn’t wanna be a legionnaire? Tearing shit up with a sword in one of the greatest armies in history. Sure I was expecting it to be dudebro to the max, if you’re unfamiliar with what a dudebro is think of somebody who would say those words without a trace of irony and then imagine him choosing games in a game store. I expected simply a good old fashioned bloody swearfest, the type of game the older generations would shake there head at and blame for the latest spate of sword and sandals murders. Something completely original like Gears of War in the past, Marcus Phoenix chopping shit up in a dress.


God dammit internet.

I swear I Googled that expecting nothing, I guess everything does already exist somewhere on the internet. Just to clarify, I meant the little red ones under their armour. Anyway back to the discussion of the demo!

When you demo a game at e3 you have one chance to impress, we’ve seen so many developers bullshitting there way through their games, I mean sure they put out their best footage of a game which may be shit on the whole but they have the right to do that. I have never however in all the years I’ve been watching gameplay demos at e3,  seen a game glorify it’s worst aspects so much.

Now I’d like to add that the game could turn out awesome, I mean the premise seems enjoyable enough but I’m just pissed that the demo they chose to represent the game was filled with something everyone hates. QTE’s. If I was to create the worst game I could think of, every enemy encounter would result in a QTE and it would be set entirely set under the sea, so every level would be an underwater swimming level. Ryse underwater, Marcus Phoenix in a bikini. Not Googling that.

If you haven’t seen the demo, the game consists of two mechanics, walking forward and mashing the attack button. Now I’ve read reports with the developer who’s justified the gameplay by saying the enemies were purposely weakened so they could hurry through the demo quickly. While I completely understand the need to fit the level into such a small time space, the problem wasn’t that the enemies were dying so quickly, it was that there was a QTE EVERYTIME the player killed an enemy. Adding a few extra hits in between them when the enemy does have more health won’t make QTE’s anymore tedious. They disengage the player from the action and completely break the flow of the game, especially when you see the same shit over and over again.

I’ve also read that they’re going to take some kind of mastery to be able to pull off. This is laughable, is there honestly a suggestion that a launch game starring giant dudebro’s whacking stuff with swords is going to take any kind of mastery or serious skill? Sounds like another case of damage control to me.

I hope I’m wrong, I’ll admit that it’s too early to pass any serious judgement, I’m just saying what I’ve seen and I do hope there’s more to come.


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